WTF is going on???

So im now 26bi below expectation in 25k hands ($5.2k below equity). Thankfully im only down $2.4k for the month and im 90% confident ive played better than October and September.I dont want this to come across as "feel sorry for me blog" because i ran pretty well over the summer and still have a healthy roll online and offline but its safe to say I have a stronger grasp of variance now and i think alot of players across forums like 2+2/ems really still havent embraced or respect how thin the edges are in todays games and how small the margins are between winning/losing players esp when u consider regs in 6 max games are usually only slight winners 0.5pt/bb-3pt/bb. In the last couple fo days i have read two interesting posts in threads relating with variance which i thought were interesting:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/29/news-views-gossip/brian-townsend-other-internet-stars-344654/index3.html
Mr beeks post in this thread is the one im referring to.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/58/heads-up-nl/success-failure-downswing-mindset-280899/
The opening post in this thread gives alot of solid advice and has helped me keep in a relaxed mindframe.

So today i ended up down around $2.3k alone which i think is my worst day to date. I can honestly say I played ok apart from one hand here:

http://www.pokerhand.org/?3469585.
I just thought his line was really weird but looking back i dont think this villan is capable of turning a made hand into a bluff on the river.

And to end this entry on a positive note i hereby introduce the 1 outer!
beat: obv against me
I had my reasons for flatting preflop and this is not a standard play by me.
http://www.pokerhand.org/?3469678

Well i did manage to reach SN status and am now approaching 100k fpp's where im in limbo between instant gratification ($1.5k bonus for 100k fpp's) or saving for the 250k fpp $4k bonus. Im also planning on playing the £300 anniversary cup side event at DTD. I'll be selling action so if anyone wants to BAP give me a holla!

till then may the "run good" be with you.............

Reflection

This month myself and Dave decided to have a little prop bet action to motivate us into putting moer hands in for the month. Basically this means if one of us doesn't play 40k hands the other has to pay out $350. Unfortunately whilst ive played 7k hands already ive ran terrible and im down about 2.5k in equity alone ($900 down for the month) now which is dissapointing as i had been still playing some of my best poker.

However last night i played terrible and ended up tilting pretty badly playin 6 max calling off my stack really light. I then played some HU and found a real drooler sitting with $120 so after taking a bad beat 109 V a2 aipf on a A 10 9 board river A ldo, i open shoved A10 in true tiltworthy style which was snapped by Q9s whereby he rivered a flush and i decided to call it a night. I was really disappointed as i wasn't letting the running bad effect me up until yesterday but i guess you live and learn.

Since waking up today ive realised i need to put things into reflection. This is my 1st full year playing poker especially cash games, and ive gone from playin 50nl to 200nl whilst making over $40k profits (includings untracked hands donkaments/RB/bonuses).My yearly cash graph is included at the top of this blog. I remember a "goals thread" on EMS where i declared i would like to make $20k profits for the year and be grinding 200nl and having a 4 figure cash in donkaments. With regards to these targets i guess ive been successful and made them all about 7 months into the year, but because my last 2/3 months haven't been rapid progression ive wrongfully considered myself stagnated.

So today ive going to take it easy with the cash games and only put in 500 hands or so HU and then play the $215 6max FTOPS event at 1 in the morning. Beyond this my plans are simply to get my SN status (5k vpp's to go) play 40k hands for the month, and not put to much pressure on my myself and try as much as possible not to be results orientated.

May the "run good" be with you......